Wed 20 May 2009

Arr, matey

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Stumbled across something
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If ye be wantin’ to change ye facebook to a more piratey theme, ye best be goin’ to ye preferences, then set ye language, and finally, ye be scrollin’ far down on the parchment to find the spot marked X: “English (Pirate)”. Ye facebook will change immediately and shiver ye timbers! (Or at least ye funny bone.)

If ye not be sold yet: Ye home page become ye “home port,” ye like button become “arrr, this be pleasin’ to me eye,” ye time be measured in hourglasses, and ye wall becomes ye Plank. If ye do it, ye become cap’n of ye own facebook. So what ye be waitin’ for?! Go fix up ye ship’s rigging!

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Thu 15 Jan 2009

Well, that was stupid

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Personal life and anecdotes no one can relate to
[6] Comments

Attention, geeks: Take my advice. Don’t try to put Windows 98 on a Mac.

I blame Mark. We were having a nice, nostalgic conversation about operating systems, and Windows 98 came up. Suddenly, visions of Windows 98 SE running smoothly and brilliantly flashed into my head. Yeah, those were the days. When real OSes were real OSes. When you could customize your desktop themes and change the backgrounds of your folders. When it didn’t ask you to update every other day. Also, back when you could screw around with system files and all Windows would give you was a stern suggestion not to do so.

Several minutes of stupidity later, I decided to attempt an install of Windows 98 on my Mac. My computer proceeded to tell me that, upon booting from the install disc, it wasn’t entirely sure if I had a disc drive. “Well, where’d you get the disc you booted from then?” I asked it, and it slunk back into the shadows of DOS in embarrassment. Several screens of text later, it clammed up, with only a single, mysterious line visible:

A:\>_
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Mon 12 Jan 2009

Comix

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Blogging about blogging, My computer no longer sucks and now I can play computer games
[2] Comments

As winter break slowly draws to a close, I look back on it and realized I have accomplished almost exactly none of the things I wanted to accomplish. What I did end up doing was struggling with getting PC games to play on a Mac, and then struggling even further with Portal’s fan-made “unofficial prelude”. That game is completely the opposite of Portal. Difficult. Frustrating. But, speaking as a proud member of its extremely tiny target audience, addicting and fun.

Unlike Portal, the game design is atrocious. Often you’ll walk into a chamber to encounter an object or setup that you’ve never seen before, and it’s only trial and error (and a lot of quicksaves) that will get you to the end of each level. Portal trains the player; Portal: Prelude dumps the player in an unfamiliar situation and kills him if he takes one step out of line.
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Mon 5 Jan 2009

Worst banner for a webcomic ever designed

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Weird pictures
[4] Comments

Somehow, I’m not sold:

worst-webcomic-thingie

Found while browsing around webcomic sites.

EDIT AND EXTREMELY HUMOROUS ANECDOTE: So yeah, I like, posted this, and then I was like “where’d my post go?!” and discovered that AdBlock had blocked my post. I know, right?! Like, such a bitch. Srsly, man. So now I totally redid the post avoiding all instances of the a-word. So there’s a lesson to be learned here: Don’t say “advertisement” in the title of a post. Unless you really hate the post and don’t want people to see it. Or at least the cool people, with AdBlock. Hey, maybe I’ve discovered a method to separate the cool people from the uncool people and show only the UNCOOL PEOPLE a blog post. So it’d have to be about how stupid they were. Like, “You Readers Are So Stupid You Could Be Entertained By Looking At A Flashing Advertisement”. And all the cool readers wouldn’t see it but the uncool readers would! And HEY PRESTO no more uncool readers.

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Sun 4 Jan 2009

This post goes out to all those people who have spent their last week trying to find a sushi place

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Personal life and anecdotes no one can relate to
[9] Comments

A kamikaze roll. Seriously, you think they'd have a better name for it.

Because I sure as Hell was one of them. And, fellow sushi hunters, I can only say: I empathize.

Once you get past the misconception that all sushi [a correction: all things called 'sushi', whether they are technically sushi or not sushi, because Americans love to mix things up like that] is raw fish and have some at a Japanese restaurant, you start to get the feeling that you’ve missed out on an important chunk of life. The chunk of life that revolves around eating things stuffed in algae and rice, specifically. You realize, firstly, that you were foolish not to try it sooner and, secondly, that you want more.

It starts out innocently enough. (more…)

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Thu 1 Jan 2009

Happy new year, Zune owners

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Why you shouldn't let me near photo-editing software
[2] Comments

pirates

Happy New Year, everybody! Although today’s the happiest for Zune owners, whose music players have locked up as of the 31st due to Microsoft’s inability to predict leap years. After a day of complaints from those unfortunate enough to own 30GB Zunes, Microsoft finally issued an official response. It reads something like this: Uh… yeah… it should totally be fixed by tomorrow. Totally. Maybe.

Shame for anyone who planned on having music for a New Year’s celebration (see helpful illustration above, click to zoom).

P.S., yes, that comic represents how I picture software pirates. In ASCII boats.

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Wed 31 Dec 2008

The insomnia post

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Contains videos to distract you from lack of content, Links are better than the content, Personal life and anecdotes no one can relate to, WTF
[13] Comments

Well, I can’t sleep.

Instead, I’ve decided to replay every addicting Flash game I can think of in one sitting. Or at least, until I got bored enough to make a blog post. Which is what I’m doing. Hey, look, Devil Dogs.

Those were some good Devil Dogs. Heh, I just mistyped “dogs” and it came out “gods”. They’re not exactly the gods of food though. That’s more like sushi. Seriously. I got sushi at the mall the other day, and I said “thank you” to the guy in Chinese. And he was all like “ZOMG”, but he wasn’t “ZOMG” really because I don’t think they have a “ZOMG” in Chinese.

I really want sushi right now.

Except, if I had sushi, I’d try to eat it and fail. On account of it being dark, y’see, and I couldn’t aim for the stuff with chopsticks. I’d probably get that sauce stuff all over my new mac, too, and that would suck because I couldn’t use my computer OR enjoy the full extent of my sushi.

Never mind that though. I had a reason for writing this post, if only I could remember what it was.

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Sat 27 Dec 2008

Text messaging vs. Morse code

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Contains videos to distract you from lack of content
[2] Comments

Text messaging has to be one of the most inefficient methods of communication developed since shouting. Texting consists either of repetitive button pressing, or “iTap” technology that continues to confuse “of” and “me”, “in” and “go”, and “good” and “home”. Then again, maybe I’m just embarrassed that my aunt can text faster than me.

Love it or hate it, it’s refreshing to know that as we continue to pour billions of dollars into developing new technology across the globe, we still manage to fuck up somewhere along the line now and again. Take this clip, for example.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhsSgcsTMd4]

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Fri 26 Dec 2008

Carbon paper

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Personal life and anecdotes no one can relate to
[3] Comments

The most unintentionally hilarious conversation I’ve overheard takes place in a lawfirm, where I’m sure there are dozens of unintentionally hilarious conversations due to lawyers and legal secretaries being driven completely insane by the sheer tediousness and horrifying monotony of their jobs. Then again, my mother works for a lawfirm and knows I have this blog, so maybe I should just shut the hell up. Alternatively, I could just say: Hi Mom!

The conversation happened next to a copy machine, where two lawyers or other similarly socially doomed law-people stood clutching the fresh copies the machine had so willingly produced for them. Then they proceeded to talk about copying in general, and how much better copying machines were in the old days. Apparently, there was something nostalgic and altogether magical about the use of carbon paper, an experience current generations miss using modern-day copy machines.

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Wed 24 Dec 2008

Christmas in the news

Posted by Chris Lesiw under Links are better than the content
[4] Comments

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Did you know that this Christmas…

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